Why am I single?
Don’t you just love when you go to parties, family dinners, or run into an old classmate? What about when they ask the world famous question, “Why are you still single?” Being the going-on-twenty-three-year-old young lady that I am, I simply close my mouth and think about my response.
Sometimes, I even have to ask myself, girl, why are you single? I’m not on this “I don’t trust a man” bandwagon. I don’t have my standards set too high that only Jesus, alone, can fulfill them. I don’t force myself to believe that I can be happy with just me for the rest of my life. (Although, I do enjoy my own company, and I think I’m pretty fun.)
I have accepted The Single Woman’s 30 Day Blogging Challenge that can be found here. I will answer this question with honesty, a little vulnerability, and hopefully, I won’t have to answer this question too many more times. Although let’s face it, my family will always ask as long as I don’t bring a man to family dinners over the holidays.
So really…Why am I single?
I have this friend, who from time-to-time asks me why I am single. Every time I give him some terrible excuse. Most of the time, I spare him an ignorant response and I simply say… I don’t know. Is that the truth? Absolutely not! BUT…it saves me from the awkwardness of giving my real immature response.
I have seen this really cute quote on social media. It’s something along the lines that says: I am single, and it’s going to take someone really awesome to change that. Well… I agree and disagree. The fact of the matter is, if someone is not interested in changing their relationship status, it does not matter how awesome someone else is, their status would remain the same.
For the longest time, I told myself that I can stand not to be hurt by not bothering myself with pointless relationships. I have told myself that I do not have time for games and useless dating. I tend to get bored easily, and why waste someone’s time if I’m not really interested? Right? (This is what I told myself.)
Here’s the truth…
I am single because I see my friends and relatives go from relationship to relationship. Some of them hate the idea of being alone, so they would rather suffer and be miserable with someone else. Me, on the other hand, I am not wired that way. I am not going to make myself stay in a situation that is uncomfortable just to say I have a “bae”. I’ve never been that kind of girl. Sure… I’ve enjoyed being able to say that my boyfriend is calling. It’s fun being able to text someone all day and talk on the phone/Facetime until you fall asleep. But is it worth the rush?
Nope! Society has this idea of making people feel pressure to date at, be married by, and to have children by a certain age. In the words of one of my favorite little fictional characters Bud (from Bud, Not Buddy), Society can kiss my wrist. Major life decisions will not be based on pleasing anyone else I’d rather be annoyed with being surrounded by cute couples, than being miserable with someone who wants me because I’m conveniently there.
So what’s the plan going forward?
Now that I have answered…why am I single?…I will answer what my plan is moving forward.
All of those things that I have told myself above about relationships, is silliness. I am only twenty-two years old. Now is the time to explore dating, and even facing the fact that heartbreak of some sort is inevitable. I am single because, for the longest time, I have thought it best that I am single. It was best for me to explore myself and learn who I am. If I cannot be me with me and love myself, how can I subject someone else to do the same?
Now that I am in a more sensible place, and am open to the idea of dating, I don’t mind dating now. I have given myself the green light. There’s this big burden lifting off of my shoulders as I type. I simply want to stand up and yell, “I’M FREE! I’m done lying to myself! I won’t stand in my own way, or keep myself from finding happiness.” Of course, I will not do that. (However, do not get it misunderstood, there’s no rush for a relationship, I have simply come around to the idea.)
I can only pray that I do not have to entertain my family with another terrible date story. While it was funny to them then and is funny to me now, it definitely was not funny back then. My first date, in college, was the absolute worst. Granted, I have read worse in Cosmo Magazine, but for me, it was the worst. I cannot talk about it right now because it makes me mad when I think about it. (LOL… it’s a really funny story… I might share it on my Facebook Page one day. So you’ll have to like it to see it, and more.)
My Simple Advice to You…
So…why are YOU single? The reason does not really matter. Just use this time to explore what you like and dislike about yourself. What are you looking for going forward? What are your goals? How can you accomplish them? Use this time and enjoy being single. Don’t rush yourself into another relationship, especially if it is just to pass the time or just so you can say you have a man/woman. Use the time of being single wisely. Get comfortable being alone and doing your own thing, then when it is time, things will fall into place for your next relationship.
Just like some of you, I am going with the flow of life and will date when I feel compelled to. Have any comments or suggestions for me? Make sure to leave them for me below. (I actually read and respond to them all. 🙂 )
Day 2 of The Single Woman’s 30-Day Blogging Challenge can be found here. It talks about how being single sucks!0